Wedding planning can bring out the best and the worst in us. We want everything to be just right, which can bring out the perfectionist monster in us, even though we have good intentions. So how do you know if you've gone too far? Read on and see!
1. You're blaming everybody else
You have a vision of your perfect day. And nothing is coming together at all. You're mad. Why didn't my mum tell me I had to book the florist a week ago? Why didn't he just pick his suit? Why do the bridesmaids have to be so fussy?
2. Nobody is talking to you
You need something done. You call your mum. It goes to answerphone. You call your maid of honour. No response. Aaargh! Can't anyone just answer their phone? Seriously! The next time you see one of them you give them the guilt trip and whine about how unsupportive they've been. Do they really not get it's your big day?
3. You've sacked your bridesmaids
Well if they were going to make a fuss about the short dresses showing their cankles, I'll walk the aisle alone
4. You keep telling your fiancé he's crap/useless/waste of space...
Seriously, can't he just do something. Like anything. But not that...or that...Oh he'll just mess it up anyway so what's the point?
5. You're screaming at your wedding suppliers
I wanted sky blue ribbon on the car, not baby blue. And four white lilies, not five in my bouquet. And the dress on my cake topper is not ivory enough.
6. It's all causing you so much stress that you don't want to get married anymore
See all of the above. Why don't people understand it's my big day?!
7. You're watching the US TV show Bridezillas and can't understand why the bride's family and friends aren't speaking to her anymore
Ok, now you definitely need help!
How to turn it around
Chances are you're nowhere near any of those but if you can identify with any of the points above, take a deep breath and read on as I'm going to pop the bridezilla bubble for you :)
You're blaming everyone else because you haven't taken the time to plan what you actually want or share your vision with your nearest and dearest. We all get so caught up when we're wedding planning and get overcome by Bridezilla's partner in crime, Controlasaurus. You're too scared to let anyone else take control that you don't delegate or share ideas with your partner, family or friends, who really are trying their best. Even if it doesn't feel like it. Be a little kinder, share your vision, show them your Pinterest boards and work together. It really will help your stress load!
If people are avoiding you, it may be worth asking why. It could be with all the stress that you're paranoid and there really isn't anything going on but, if you've been snappy with your friends and family, chances are they're giving you a little space to cool down. We can only manage a certain amount before we crack (which may be the point you're at right now) and, while your wedding day is important to you, your friends and family have other significant things going on in their lives too and they're trying to help as much as they can to make you happy. Be grateful and say thank you for little gestures. And maybe pop a little card in their letterbox to apologise if you have pushed things a bit further than you should have.
Consider other people's feelings
Obviously as the bride and groom, you decide on the overall look of your wedding. But does that mean making everyone else miserable or uncomfortable? If your bridesmaids are really unhappy with the dresses you've chosen, hear their concerns. Deep down you care for them and you wouldn't want them to feel uncomfortable or unhappy on your wedding day. Plus how will it look with miserable bridesmaids in your photos? Talk to them and maybe you can all reach a compromise. And maybe if the dress is non-negotiable, you can let them choose which shoes to wear to make it more flattering (in your choice of colour, obviously!).
Share with your partner
So many brides go head first into wedding planning and the groom takes a back seat and has little say in any of the decisions. If you want his help, tell him. And if you want him to be more involved, ask him. But do it nicely and be kind - it's his big day too and you need to remember that he is entitled to as much say in the big day as you are. Listen to his ideas and share yours with him. The best weddings I've seen are the ones that represent the bride and the groom, not one over the other.
Trust the experts
You've hired suppliers to do a job and you've chosen them based on the style of work they produce. They're the professionalsand they know what they're doing. Any miscommunications will be down to a lack of clear guidance. Don't forget that suppliers work to your brief but will work their magic to make things fit together for you, as they have the experience. And if you want a particular shade of ribbon, it may be worth buying it yourself if it's not a mainstream colour, so you can ensure that it's just how you want it. Suppliers will always do their best to accommodate you but be realistic with your expectations to avoid any problems later on.
If you're considering calling off the wedding, are you getting married for the right reasons?
Scary one this. It's normal to feel that you just want the wedding planning stress to go and enjoy the big day, but if you're actually wishing the wedding day away, maybe you need to take a break from it all. Get away for a weekend together, away from the stress and remember why you're getting married. Too often the stress of planning the perfect day consumes us and we forget the most important thing - that we get to spend the rest of our lives with our special someone.
Did any of these resonate with you? Do you feel like a Bridezilla or Controlasaurus? I really hope these tips helped but leave me a comment if you need anything else!
And if you're feeling overwhelmed by wedding stress and it's all getting a bit much, check out my actionable points here to help you get back on track :)